I can’t tell you the number of times people have looked at me pityingly when I say that I enjoy eating out alone and do it quite often.
Why? Don’t you have friends? What about your family? A partner? Can’t you manage to convince at-least one person out of all the people you know to come and have a meal with you? How do you enjoy eating out alone? Isn’t it lonely and boring? – are the sort of responses I’m used to hearing all the time.
and quite honestly, I don’t understand what the fuss is all about? Why is it a bad thing to take yourself out sometimes? To spend some time alone with yourself in silence or just listening to your own thoughts without having to keep up with the other person. Is it a bad thing to enjoy your own company?
I enjoy eating out with my family or hanging out with my friends after work and I also enjoy taking myself out once in a while. I’ll either indulge myself in writing my diary – making notes of all the things that goes in my head. It’s then when I’m at my creative best since I’m paying extra attention to the things around me which makes it perfect for people watching! I can’t stress enough how much I learn from just observing people at a public place. More on that, later. In fact, I wrote this blog post while I was having a cup of coffee alone in a coffee shop! I’m also mindful as I savour each bite, figuring out the ingredients used to prepare the dish.
It’s a time I use to be mindful and understand how I’m feeling.
So I toss my phone in my handbag and resist myself the need to scroll through the news or the Instagram. To bury my nose in my phone and to scroll mindlessly will be a waste of the time I took out to be with myself. It’s only when I keep my phone down is when I can absorb so much of my surroundings and appreciate it a lot more than I could do online.
On a different note, I know there are so many people who still twitch at the idea of going out alone and for all of them, I just wanna say – is to try it out at least once. It’s such a power move! It’s the independence of going wherever and whenever you want. It’s the power of you choosing the time, place and meal you want. It’s the time you give yourself. It’s the self love you practice.
If it still scares you to just have your meal in completive silence, maybe bring along a book that you wanted to read, maybe write down in your journal about the experience you’re having, maybe talk to the waiter and ask how their day is going so far.
or maybe just tweet me @capturesunshyne and we can have a little chat? 😉
Start it slow but start somewhere because this experience is gonna add up to your perspective of looking at things.
So the next time you go to a restaurant for treating yourself, say it with a smile – “Can I have a table for one, please?” and look at them being in awe of the confident person that you are.
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Comments
I can go to coffee shops or little places on my on but I would be so nervous to go to a restaurant on my own. I think you are amazing to be able to do that x
Author
Thanks for stopping by, it’s so nice that you do go to coffee shops alone.
What makes you feel nervous at a restaurant? I know for starters, it can be a bit tough but it’s just so worth it.
I think it is just because you are expected to go as a group or for an occasion. I suppose we are made to think that way but it doesn’t do anyone any harm to see you sitting there alone.
Author
When you put it this way, I kinda do understand what you mean. It’s such a shame that we – as a society has such thought and I agree, most of the people do think this way and that’s why this post. We need to normalise going out and having fun alone. Just because, we need to learn how to be comfortable with only ourselves.
Idk, can I give you a hug? I just felt like this mini moment where we understood each other. *hugs*
The world probably would be a different place if we weren’t given ideas to think, behave or even do things in a certain way. We would probably be a lot happier in ourselves. I might take the time to actually do this now.
I accept hugs, especially when people understand my random train thought. Haha.*Hugs*
Author
It sometimes do astonishes me how much of our lives we live according to the norms of the society. Makes me think if a utopia would actually work out?
Do you think this way? How about we collaborate and write about this together?
This conversation really filled my heart with so much meaning and made me so happy. Thank you very much ❤️
Yes I do in so many ways, we would able to self accept in so many ways if our minds weren’t pre-programmed. I am very new and haven’t collaborated with anyone before but I would be willing to give it a go!
No problem, I had no idea blogging would introduce me to so many interesting people! 💚
I have gone out to the cinema by myself a few times and it’s really enjoyable. I agree with you that more people should enjoy their own company
Author
True, if we don’t love ourselves and be comfortable of who we are, why should anyone else? 🙂
Can’t remember a planned coffee shop visit but have experienced going for movies alone …. it feels good …. Nobody to disturb you while you are enjoying your favourite past time and your popcorn is all yours!! 😉
Author
Haha, love it! Didn’t know you have been to movies alone.
Thank you for the support 🙂
You are so right! Isn’t a restaurant a place where you go eat food? I don’t think it includes ‘with at least one other person’ in the dictionary definition! I’m a little introverted, so I’m happy to spend some time alone, either at home or out and about. I’ve been to the cinema, museums, cafes, restaurants by myself – and surprise. surprise, I’ve been fine!
Ellyn x | Life Of A Beauty Nerd
I absolutely love eating out by myself! If nothing else, I just go out for a coffee on a Sunday with my laptop so that I can work on my blog. I find it very peaceful to work when I’m all alone surrounded by strangers.
Author
Yayyy! It made me just so happy to just read this comment. Youuu goooo gurrlll! <3
I used to do it frequently when I worked away for a week at a time. I was on my own in an unfamiliar town and I had no choice, but do you know what, I actually enjoyed it 🙂 I’d order what I wanted, have a large glass of wine and sit and people watch or read a book. It’s refreshing to enjoy time on your own 🙂
Author
It’s actually perfect, I too started going out alone when I was across the state in the university. Seems, it taught me a thing or two 🙂
You have a great point there. Also, I believe a good dose of this criticism is associated with being a woman: it looks like some people are still uncomfortable with the idea of female freedom in 2019…
https://rogueandrouge.org/
Author
I though agree with that at some level. I can totally see how it’s considered okay for a man to be sitting alone on a bar counter but totally unacceptable for a woman to do the same.
Such a cute article! ❤I agree! I have done it myself too and it is actually nice and quiet! I prefer eating alone at work too. Actually rather than engaging in talk, I prefer eating and enjoying silently while reading something or watching something on my phone😊
Author
Thank you Rasi xx
I love this! I have never had a meal on my own but you have definitely made me want to! It’s so empowering I’m sure & I do love being on my own with my book or journey so this is definietly something I should do!
Tabitha ♥ http://www.latenightsandlattes.co.uk/
Author
Do it, do it and please let me know how it went for you 🙂
I am genuinely loving this idea! It’s not that I have never done it through choice, just that I rarely get the chance to be alone. The six weeks holidays are approaching and I am going to make sure that I do this at least once in that time.
Thank you for sharing x
Author
Wishing you a happy and lovely vacations <3
I have always been a bit nervous about going out on my own but this has definitely inspired me to do so! I went out on my own to a coffee shop on my own the other day before work and it definitely is not as scary as people think it is 🙂
Author
yayy! *hi-5*
Please let me know how it was for you when you try this out 🙂
I love going to eat somewhere by myself. I’ve always enjoyed my own company and when I started to date my Mr he was so concerned about it – but two years in and he also now can eat alone without feeling like he’s being watched or whatever else seems to bother some people. I genuinely enjoy the peace sometimes! X
Author
That’s so nice to hear, I love how your Mr is comfortable with it too xx
I do enjoy taking a bit of time for myself – it’s not often I get a lot of alone-time, so I really value it. Sometimes being able to eat and not have to make conversation or worry about how I look eating is very relaxing. You’re right about the phones too – that is something I particularly need to get better at!
Author
I was such a big phone addict. Like I remember once, I uninstalled Instagram on my phone and my fingers were still trying to open the app where it was located. I have got better at this though.
I love going out to eat alone! I used to be self-conscious about it, because my friends would make fun of me. But now that I am older, I crave eating alone. It is such a great way to treat yourself and have some time for self-reflection.
Author
As i have turn older, I do realise a lot of things that I didn’t earlier. A few lessons does comes with age 🙂
I once took myself on a date and spent the whole day out exploring my city like a tourist, it sounded weird at first but when I did it I loved every moment of it. I certainly had my fair share of judgemental looks but I ignored them. It was FAB.
I wrote about it on my blog!
Todaysouhaila.blogspot.com
Author
That sounds so AWESOME! I’m trying to find out that post but cannot. Help me find it?
Great post, I love eating on my own. It’s kind of empowering but definitely a bit nerve wracking sometimes.
Author
Thank you 🙂
It surely is empowering, what part of it makes you feel a tad nervous though?
Ahhh it’s just feeling self-conscious I guess. It’s getting less as I get older 🙂
I am a massive advocate for doing things alone sometimes. I love going to the cinema, grabbing coffee or going for a wander around somewhere. If I sit for a meal, it’s noramlly breakfast, but that’s only because it’s my favourite meal to eat out. It’s a lot more chilled for me. This is an excellent post and keep doing what you’re doing!
Author
Thank you so much <3
I totally relate to you and do the same.
I totally agree with you, I think solo activities are nothing to be ashamed of and are definitely beneficial. I don’t eat out a lot personally, but I’ve taken myself to the theatre alone and that’s pretty fun. No pressure to give an immediate opinion after, you can just absorb it. I hope your post inspires more people to try it!
Author
I really hope so too, I loved having a mini discussion in here. Perks of having a blog – you get to meet so many amazing people 🙂
I’ve always wanted to just go out and eat by myself or go to the cinema by myself but I never have! And I don’t really know why, I think it’s just that I don’t like the thought of other people thinking I’m on my own. When I see other people out eating on my own I always admire them and want to do it. I think I’m going to have to give it a try! X
I feel you! I love to go out alone, and I too don’t understand what’s the big deal about it. Spending some time alone is very therapeutic in my opinion and everyone should do it.
I love eating out alone, but I also travel alone, so kind of necessary sometimes 😀 I agree with you, there really shouldn’t be anything wrong with it.
man i need to do more stuff on my own! I get super nevous even going to the shops by myself!! I need to just do it! thanks for sharing of this post!
Jadieegosh