There’re those nights when your mind will refuse to shut up and all you would do is THINK. You would think about what happened the past hour, the past week, the past month or perhaps the past year. You would think about the good and the bad. You would think about what could have been, what should and why it didn’t. You would keep replaying the moments like a stuck record tape until you’re convinced that the universe is conspired against you and you just can’t seem to have your own way.
You would toss and turn around in your bed unable to fall asleep. You would wonder why isn’t life so perfect? Why isn’t life similar to fairy tales in the books and the movies? Why couldn’t you be flawless and perfect? Why is it when everything seems so easy and right, it ends?
“At any given point of time, our one foot is in a fairy tale and the other in the abyss.”
It’s at night when you seem to see your true desires.You would think of the failures and what would the people say, the successes and how it motivates you to strive for better from then, the messages that you never sent, the things you never meant.
Its when you become poets and philosophers.
Its that time of the night when your most tender, vulnerable side of you come into play in front of the non judgmental eyes of the stars. At this current point of time you feel completely alone. At night when the world goes to sleep, you’re left with your worries, fears and pains. The weight of all this might me unbearable. The feeling of chaos in your mind makes sleep almost impossible and all you really want is someone to hold you and say “You’re not alone”.
Ah! These magical words would light up your spirits but well, there is no one around and instead you tell your mind to shut up and sleep so that you could wake up on time for the important meeting the next day. But your brain doesn’t listen and you are left with your fears gripping you tight making you paralysed. Your mind races and so does your heartbeat. It is truly said that “Negative thoughts creates room for more negativity to appear”.
So, you start from one incident and jump on to the next related incident and the journey is endless and you’re exhausted. You look at the clock and it says 3 am and finally your eyes weigh more than your thoughts and you drift off to sleep.
How do I know all this? I have been in the same boat as you.